Letter to My Daughter

Victoria,

This book was written as a gift to you on your eighteenth birthday.  I hope you find it uplifting, inspiring, and helpful. Each entry represents something that I wanted to communicate to you. Most of the content is original but in a few cases the content was found elsewhere and deemed worthy of inclusion.

I wish this were not the case but I know that as you venture out into the world you will encounter numerous challenges. While I’d love to protect you from those situations, I know that it is part of the growth process and removing challenges from you would stunt your growth. As you encounter challenges, it is my prayer that the words in this book would be a reminder to you as to who you are and serve as an encouragement to you. 

It seems like just yesterday you were born.  Candidly, time has gone by so quickly that I’m struggling with the idea of you as an adult.  It’s not that you are not ready but rather that I’m not ready!  You have been everything a dad could ever ask for and then some. You were born to parents who thought they were grownups but as it turns out both of us had a lot of growing up to do. Somehow God extended his grace to us and helped us grow alongside you. There is no other explanation for how you turned out so beautifully and that’s the thing about the glory that belongs to Him.  Your mother and I cannot attempt to take any of the credit for the wonderful person that you are because we had less to do with it than either of us would care to admit.  That being said, it also means God has a very special plan for you – he has plans for all of us but the amount of grace that has been extended to you is quite unusual. It is indicative of someone who God plans to use in a particularly mighty way.  Just know that you’re ready for whatever that is. You've been preparing your entire life!

When you were born I was overwhelmed with emotion and excitement. I couldn't sleep for more than a day because I kept thinking “it’s my job to love and protect her for the rest of her life”.  From the first moment I held you, I instantly understood that my life would be forever different. 

Your significance on your mom and me cannot be overstated.  As you know, we married young and we both had a lot of growing up to do. That puts a lot of pressure on a marriage and early in our marriage there were times when I wasn't sure we were going to make it.  You were one of the reasons we kept fighting for it. We knew it was really important for both of us, and for you, to keep fighting.  By God’s grace – and only by God’s grace – we matured enough not only to stay together but to thrive together!

As we expanded our family you were the steady hand that was always willing to help. You've always been mature beyond your years and your maturity, heart, and demeanor, has set an example for your sisters to emulate.  

Regardless of your age you are always going to be my beautiful and brilliant little girl. The pages on the calendar have turned and when I look at you now, I see a beautiful young woman. I love you more than I could ever express to you.  I’m so proud to call you my daughter and blessed to be your dad. 

Love dad.

God qualifies who he calls

Throughout your life you will find yourself in situations where God is going to call you to do something. In most cases, what you are being asked to do is more about obedience than it is about difficulty or complexity.  However, you assuredly encounter situations where God is calling you to something that you are scared to do, something that overwhelms you because you realize you cannot do it in your own strength.  Know that God qualifies who he calls.  Scripture is full of stories about how God equipped the people He called to do a great work for Him.  That same God still calls people and He still qualifies them too!

False teaching

Our enemy seeks to steal, kill, and destroy. The enemy has a clear goal and the tactics he employs are many but sometimes we are our own worst enemy. There are false teachers who deceive God’s people into believing a perverted version of the truth (which is a lie).  Many are led astray because of this so remain alert and guard your doctrine.  The best lie is one that has truth in it.  The ability to discern truth happens by understanding God’s word, it’s applicability to our lives, and through constant prayer.  Otherwise the lies sound like truth and we find ourselves falling away from the very God we seek to serve.  One of the great lies that ensnares many is the idea that God is tolerant and perhaps even accepting toward sin.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  As Driscoll states in A Call to Resurgence:

 

“The Bible recognizes those who only and always preach peace, tolerance, love, and acceptance toward sin as false prophets and prophets for hire. The Old Testament and Revelation are littered with references to whoredom, describing false prophets who prostitute their message for profits.

 

False prophets love to tell us that God is only and forever tolerant. But the Bible teaches that God is not tolerant of sin but rather patient with sinners.  Second Peter 3:9 says, “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”

 

A just God demands justice. We are fortunate that God’s grace extends to us and through Jesus we have an opportunity to enter into relationship with him.  Many things and many people will attempt to pressure you into compromising God’s standard for our lives.  If you’re not careful you won’t even know you’re making a compromise.  Be on the lookout for false teaching, even from people you trust.  Otherwise you could find yourself led astray.

Tough Days? Trust Him, He Knows

Jesus never promised us that this life would be easy.  In fact, he spoke a LOT about the cost of following Him. One of the great things about our God is that He knows exactly what we go through.  He has endured all that we endure (and then some).  As Hebrews 4:15 states, “We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses.”  Trust in Him knowing that he can relate to every situation you may encounter.  

 

For those who follow Him, this life is as close to hell as we will ever get.  For those who choose not to follow Him, this is the closest to heaven they’ll ever get.

 

Parenting

Odds are that at some point in your life you will become a mother.  While there are many high callings, there is no higher calling than that of being a mother.  As a parent you learn a lot about yourself and a lot about how God sees his children. Parenthood is also key to Christianity continuing to spread.  It is the discipleship of children by their parents that keeps subsequent generations engaged in a discussion about who we are, our purpose, and our purpose in the context of a pure, holy, and worthy God.  Train up your children in the way they should go and they shall not depart.

 

Then vs. Now – Now is Then

The word of God is alive and well.  When you study the Bible, don't think of it as a study of what God did say because He was there but rather what God is saying because He is here!

 

The Men of Today

Be wary of men who in their youth are not working hard to build and prepare for himself and his family.  Jeremiah wrote, “It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young.”  Unfortunately, the men of today are lazier than ever. They’ve fallen into the trap (lie) that the culture at large has fallen into – that we are entitled. Entitled to what we want, when we want it, how we want it That we are entitled to an easy life with no suffering.  As you grow older you will begin to encounter young men who seek to get to know you in hopes of entering into a dating relationship.  There are many popular scriptures that you should consider (e.g. equally yoked) but don’t let the words of Jeremiah unheeded.

 

A Missional View of the New Testament

When you read the New Testament, take a step back for a moment and take yourself back in time.  Back to the point in history where Jesus was crucified and resurrected.  As news of the resurrection spread, Jesus’ followers were convinced and convicted that Jesus was indeed God, and new believers were added to the church.  While the growth was exciting, think about how much confusion ensued as new believers tried to reconcile their old beliefs and  rituals with what Jesus taught.  The New Testament letters are primarily instruction for the new followers to help them, and us, understand what it meant to be a follower of Christ.  It’s easy to forget the historical context for these letters so try to remind yourself of the past and current significance of them.

 

Suffering

We live in a fallen world.  When our Savior entered into humanity, he subjected himself to (and conquered) the same pressures, temptations, and challenges we deal with each day.  He instructed his followers that following Him would cost them something. For each of us, that “something” is something different but we know that suffering will assuredly be part of our life and part of our journey.  The role of suffering should not be understated because it is one of the things that lets others see how we respond to suffering and how we lean on Him during good and bad times. 

 

In his blog entitled Counterfactuals, Convulsion, and Conquest, Pastor Doug Wilson states “a great reformation and revival…will happen the same way the early Christians conquered Rome. Their program of conquest consisted largely of two elements – gospel preaching and being eaten by lions – a strategy that has not yet captured the imagination of the contemporary church.”

 

If you subscribe, as I do, to Pastor Wilson’s thinking in the quote above then you’ll have to grapple with the idea that the suffering of Christians is likely going to increase.  How much will it increase?  Perhaps as much as those in the early church where suffering was a common occurrence. 

 

This side of heaven, life is not promised to be easy.  As much as I’d love to think you won’t suffer in your lifetime, I know that you will.  When  you are in the midst of suffering also remember that God’s glory is further revealed through your response.  Not many are willing to endure the suffering that it requires to be a follower of Christ but as Paul says, finish the race and finish strong.  As counterintuitive as this may seem, suffering for Jesus is a blessing!

Contextualization

As believers it is important that we contextualize our faith to non-believers and new believers alike. In doing so, we ensure that we are helping others understand our faith, its timeless applicability, and  how it applies to the culture of the day.  However, as Mark Driscoll states in A Call To Resurgence*, “Contextualization is not about showing the relevance of the gospel, not making the gospel relevant.”

 

*As a FYI, you bought me the book as a gift J